Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Time For An Upgrade?

Science & Technology

I was reading the Bible the other day and realized that God and His "world" could use a serious technological upgrade. Now, I mean no disrespect to Christians. This is strictly between God and me. Now no need to worry that He will be angry at me or any such thing, for I know that He has an awesome sense of humor.  I forwarded the suggestions to Him, but it will be anyone's guess as to whether He will act upon them. I have included below some of the suggestions I forwarded to Him:

  • The Flaming sword used by the angel to guard the Tree of Life can be replaced with an M-16 or AK-47 assault rifle.
  • Instead of wings, angels can use the more advanced fighter jets in use today.
  • Instead of praying in the traditional way, may I send You a text instead?
  • Aaaah....about that Book of Life - You could put all that information on a computer database.
  • Instead of sending one of your messengers, why not send an email or leave a voicemail?
  • Preachers! Now won't it be great to just Twitter, get a FaceBook account, or create Your own Blog to communicate with us so that we don't have to listen to them?
  • Regarding those Lamps of Fire before the Throne - Call the Electric Company!
  • Sickles for Harvesting! There are some really good HiTech equipment for that stuff. John Dere makes some really good harvesters. They are faster and more efficient.
  • How about giving each of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse an M1 Abrams. That baby really kicks ass!
  • Instead of riding on horses the Guy on the white horse and the rest of His army could do more damage with B1 Bombers, F16s, FA18 Hornets, AH64s, CH47s
  • In addition to harps, how about some electric guitars, drums, synthesizers, keyboards, etc?
  • And if you have the time, can You have someone look into the Fashion aspect of things? Them long white robes..... Aeropostale (My girlfriend works there. She could arrange a discount.), the Gap, Macy's, and lots of other stores have some nice clothes - for both young and old.