Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Time For An Upgrade?

Science & Technology

I was reading the Bible the other day and realized that God and His "world" could use a serious technological upgrade. Now, I mean no disrespect to Christians. This is strictly between God and me. Now no need to worry that He will be angry at me or any such thing, for I know that He has an awesome sense of humor.  I forwarded the suggestions to Him, but it will be anyone's guess as to whether He will act upon them. I have included below some of the suggestions I forwarded to Him:

  • The Flaming sword used by the angel to guard the Tree of Life can be replaced with an M-16 or AK-47 assault rifle.
  • Instead of wings, angels can use the more advanced fighter jets in use today.
  • Instead of praying in the traditional way, may I send You a text instead?
  • Aaaah....about that Book of Life - You could put all that information on a computer database.
  • Instead of sending one of your messengers, why not send an email or leave a voicemail?
  • Preachers! Now won't it be great to just Twitter, get a FaceBook account, or create Your own Blog to communicate with us so that we don't have to listen to them?
  • Regarding those Lamps of Fire before the Throne - Call the Electric Company!
  • Sickles for Harvesting! There are some really good HiTech equipment for that stuff. John Dere makes some really good harvesters. They are faster and more efficient.
  • How about giving each of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse an M1 Abrams. That baby really kicks ass!
  • Instead of riding on horses the Guy on the white horse and the rest of His army could do more damage with B1 Bombers, F16s, FA18 Hornets, AH64s, CH47s
  • In addition to harps, how about some electric guitars, drums, synthesizers, keyboards, etc?
  • And if you have the time, can You have someone look into the Fashion aspect of things? Them long white robes..... Aeropostale (My girlfriend works there. She could arrange a discount.), the Gap, Macy's, and lots of other stores have some nice clothes - for both young and old.


  1. I can just hear/see the Master laughinging while turning to Lucipher saying "It's that same Theologian again, the Guyanese fellow, what are we going to do with him?" LOL

    1. LOL! I can imagine what my poor Mom might be thinking. She is probably pleading importunately that "...he does not know what he is doing. Please don't be too hard on him." Well, I had better be right about His having a sense of humor, or I am screwed :-)