Thursday, June 12, 2014

My Dilemma

Culture & Society ---

Alright!  Here is the deal.  I anticipate that I am going to need a place at which to stay, and I am going to know for sure who my friends really are and whether they might be willing to put me up.  I think I might be put out today.  "Why?" , you ask.  Well...I might as well tell you the truth, and I have thought really long and hard about this.  I...have...decided...to...back the United States in this year's FIFA World Cup, and I am particularly excited to see #17, Jozy Altidore (whom I call The Altidore) in action.  What's the big deal about that you ask?  My...girlfriend is Brazilian, and if she finds out that I am backing the United States she is going to put me out.  And it does not help that I cook, do the dishes, and all those other things that I boasted of doing in a blog several months ago.  You know the Brazilians and their passion for soccer and their national team.  And up against her Brazilian team, I am running a distant second.  I have not yet told her what I intend to do, but this past Sunday I decided to test the waters.  We were hanging out near the Brooklyn Center, and I decided to check out Modells to see whether they carried any USA jerseys.  They did, but would you believe it?  They cost a whopping 90 dollars, but boy do they look good - maybe even a tad better than the Brazilian jerseys.  I can't believe I am even saying this; I must be both dumb and stupid.  So she saw me looking at the jerseys and asked why I was looking at them.  Then she told me that I had better not bring home that jersey, or else...  Damn!  What is a man to do?   I would welcome any suggestions you might have.   And do not tell me about wearing the USA jersey under my Brazilian one; I already thought about that.  It simply will not work.  Besides, that is a really silly idea anyway.  In the meanwhile if you see me show up at your door with my Calvin Klein bag in hand (a bag she got me for potential put-out situations), well...you and I can at least watch the game together.  And I should tell you ahead of time; I like oatmeal stout.